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Today is a positive day

So finally it’s here!! Launch day!!! I started this project 2 years ago and have spent copious amounts of hours with the doubt delete button!! Bet you’re wondering what I’m on about! The doubt delete button is the usual delete button that gets pressed every time I doubt it’s good enough! This was pressed so many times I can’t even count now.

So why doubt? You see I have never had the greatest confidence in myself, you’d never have believed it because my makeup pallet was a bloody good one, thinking about it I could have been an actor as every day I painted on the mask and went out there.

The doubt delete button! Every time I did something I doubted it! No one would like it, it’s not perfect enough, it doesn’t look professional, it’s too much talk, my pictures are awful! All this and yes delete! Until finally just. a couple of months ago I woke up one day and decided this doubt had to go it was holding me back and stopping me from achieving the goal I set all that time ago.

 I set my self a new goal but in honesty it was a bit unrealistic if I wanted to sleep as well as work so I extended just a little longer to give me chance to check out errors! The date just so happened to be calling out to me… 19th August 2022… 24 years to the day since I lost my dad to the horror of suicide. A date I’ve never been able to bear, hidden away from and up to 3 years ago would just get lost in a state of drunk. I’ve worked on this, on myself I’m so proud that I no longer need the drink to cope, the day didn’t go unnoticed the last few years but I began to learn to cope in other ways and this year just seemed to happen where the date became a positive one. 

So here it is I’m absolutely exhausted, having never created a website before I’ve done the whole thing by myself! I am so proud of me right now, I don’t know why I ever doubted my abilities,I may not always get it right but I do have grit and determination, i have my vision and my faith in the universe. I would have got it right had I not allowed myself to press the doubt delete button.

 There’s still lots more to come, I need to add the shop, finish uploading the courses, add some pictures but for now it’s exactly as I had visualised. I’m actually quite emotional right now in a good way:) 

 I have a question for you… Does this button resonate? Please don’t ever doubt your ability, believe in yourself and you can do anything, If your sat there feeling inspired, wanting to begin a journey of your own, waiting for the bus to come, then don’t question it when it arrives with another destination on it as our paths aren’t always meant to be from  A to B you may have to do the rest of the alphabet to reach the destination and learn some important things along the way, teachings that will stay with you for life, happening just when they are meant to what along the way! I meant realistically I could have done all this 12 years ago skipping the whole college, uni, career in education path, but then I wouldn’t have learnt all the things I now see as valuable life lessons, mistakes that shaped me, ICT skills, planning ability and everything else I experienced along the way!! No, those 12 years were not wasted, they were the rest of the alphabet covered in sauce that led me to today.

 So now I just want to thank those who had a pre look around and flagged bits up, those that have endured the moods and tantrums while I got it right and to YOU for reading this and supporting my journey. 

Oh and one more thing before I go and that’s don’t ever ask me to design a website as I have retired that position as of this very moment 🤣

Namaste Beautiful One 

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